It is no secret that
life is birthed out of death, out of agonies, of
heart-rending travails. Such was my life in search of
the truth in that I experienced every kind of mental,
emotional, and even physical agony you could imagine.
Determining where one spends eternity is no trivial
matter for it is one of two places, Heaven or Hell.
May Allah grant us the promised Heaven as He purchased
us from Damnation as He, glory be to His exalted Name,
fulfilled that in the person of His Word, Isa Al-Maseeh,
glory to His Name.
I mentioned earlier
that I had a pen-friend who I sought to convert by all
means from Christianity into Islam. To achieve such a
worthy task, I read every book I could lay my hand
upon. That pen friend was John from Pennsylvania. He
visited me for two months–right in my own house in the
simple village that was rich in the hearts of its
farmers who knew how to love and care.
After John left, his
influence stayed. I thought I would depress John by
saying, "John, your visit made me a stronger Muslim in
the faith and do not try to convert Muslims anymore."
Yet John prevailed in his supplication and prayers.
His intercessory prayer moved the LORD to wake me up
in the middle of the night as I had no sleep or rest.
Inner conflict reached its zenith. Restless, I reached
out to my Bible and opened it at random. I found,
"Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" I remember one
day in the heat of a debate between me and John, I
made fun of the Bible and said, "John, your Bible is
the most absurd thing! How can you believe the story
of Saul who became Paul, the servant of the Gospel?"
John said, "The story is true, and that is why I am
patient with you. You will be another Paul one day!" I
replied, "John, you must be out of your mind to think
for a second that I could leave the religion of all
religions, Islam!" Reflecting on "Saul, Saul…" I said,
"Lord! Me? Me persecute You? I did nothing to You in
person ... I remember I turned in a female medical
student to the police…but I did nothing to You. Is it
true that He who touched one of Your people touches
the apple of Your eye?"
Islam denies the
crucifixion of the Lord Jesus Christ because the Quran
intended to deprive the Jew of the victory they
claimed was theirs in Jesus’ death. The Quran asserts
that God put somebody who looked like Him on the cross
in the place of Jesus. Now my Muslim friends, God is
not in the business of fraud, for if He had wanted to
deliver Jesus from the cross, He could have done it
miraculously without having to deceive and put Jesus’
likeness on someone else. This Quranic error is too
blatant and proves that the Quran has no divine
origin. What is more the Quran is self-contradicting,
for while it claims that the Jews did not really kill
Jesus, it also affirms very distinctly the reality of
Jesus’ death in the sura of the family of Imran
3:47/54 - 48/55 as it states:
"When God said:
‘OH JESUS, I SHALL
CAUSE YOU TO DIE,
AND THEN I SHALL RAISE YOU UP TO ME.’"
My Muslim friend, my
goal here is not to proselytize you, but to raise the
ultimate questions, "Who is Christ? Was He crucified?
And how does this affect you?" If the whole history of
humanity revolves around Christ, then my entire life
and existence should revolve around Him too. Denying
the cross of Christ is contradicting history itself.
Muhammad himself is claimed in the Quran to have been
urged by God to refer to the People of the Book (the
Jews and the Christians) is he in doubt concerning the
Quran: "And if thou (Muhammad) art in doubt concerning
that which we reveal unto thee, then ask those who
read the Scripture (that was) before thee." Sura Yunus
For the first time in
my life, I began asking the question "why?" and
challenged everything I took for granted. All
postulates were critically examined. This got me into
trouble in an authoritarian society. Questions, they
say, fly in the face of Allah. Obey. That is All. In
the Islamic Brotherhood, our motto was "samaana wa
ataana" i.e. "we have heard and obeyed." After years
of study, I came to two logical conclusions: the Bible
is the inerrant Word of God, and Jesus is the Word of
God. I began to see it was possible for Jesus to be
God. Intellectually, I accepted all the claims of the
Christian faith, but in my heart I still feared being
struck dead for calling the Almighty God "My Father."
I needed a miracle! The Bible teaches us that no one
can say, "Jesus is Lord" except by the Holy Spirit (1
Corinthians 12:3). No wonder every salvation
experience is one of a miracle of birth out of death
into eternal life!
From the depths of my
heart, in the midst of inner conflict, I cried out to
Allah, even in the mosque, "Lord, show me the truth!
Is it Jesus or Muhammad? Could it be that You are my
Father? Show me the truth, and the truth you lead me
to I will serve all my life whatever the cost may be!"
I burst into tears since I knew the cost could be
outrageously too high for a weak, thin person like me.
For how could I afford to be cast out of my family and
sleep on the streets like a homeless person? And what
if my leaders in the Islamic Brotherhood would find
out about me? And what if they, in their Islamic
righteousness and zeal, rush on to defend Islam and
kill me? According to the Islamic religion, an
apostate should be given a three day opportunity to
recant, and after that the infidel’s blood is
legitimately shed in the name of Allah! The words of
the Prophet Muhammad kept ringing in my ear, "Any
person (i.e., Muslim) who has changed his religion,
kill him." This tradition has been narrated by AbuBakr,
Uthman, Ali, Muadh ibn Jabal, and Khalid ibn Walid.
Yet I persisted in asking God to guide me.
Guide me, O Thou great
Allah, pilgrim through this barren land; I am weak,
but Thou art mighty.
One night Christ
appeared to me in a dream and said with a tender sweet
voice, "I love you!" I saw how obstinately I had
resisted Him all these years and said to Him in tears,
"I love You, too! I know You! You are eternal for ever
and ever." I woke up with tears all over my face
filled with abundant joy, believing that Christ
Himself touched both my mind and my heart, and I
yielded. I was filled with great passion for Christ,
jumping up and down, singing praises to His name and
talking to Him day and night. I would not even sleep
without God’s inerrant Word, the Bible, next to my
I experienced what a
"spoiled child" of God would: God would give me
anything I ask for in prayer. But then the Lord wanted
me to love Him and worship Him for His own sake, not
for what I could get from Him. I tried to keep my
faith secret and so was baptized secretly in a