[Note: This article is part of a continuing
series. If you are seeking help following your own abortion, you
will receive the most benefit if you begin with the first article,
Streams of Life archives, December 1999.]
She had the most beautiful smile. That’s what
I remember most about her. Her dream was to come to work at Hair
Benders Internationalé. She was so excited on her first day
there. She was always there with a helping hand and a willing
heart. I knew right off that she was a very special person and I
was so glad she would be working with us. She had only been
married to Jack for a year and he adored her. They were young and
in love with life.
She had a lot of ambition and was there for
every cutting class striving to be the very best hairdresser she
could be. She was so dedicated to her job that she came to the
last cutting class even when she was sick. She was having trouble
breathing so Voula sent her home to rest and get well. When her
breathing became more difficult they took her to the emergency
room and she was put in ICU.
When I got to work that next Tuesday everyone
was talking about her being in ICU with pneumonia. I remember
thinking, "She is too young to be this sick." Then she
got worse instead of better. They put her on a heart and lung
machine so her lungs could rest and heal. Still she didn’t get
any better. They tried to do a biopsy but her oxygen level dropped
so they had to stop. The doctors didn’t know why she was so
sick…didn’t know what to do. They took the chance and did a
surgical lung biopsy. She made it through that surgery and still
the tests came back negative. She had the best doctors in the
area. Still, they had no clue as to why she was so ill.
I knew that only family was allowed in to see a
patient when they were in ICU so I hadn’t gone to the hospital
to see her. Then God put her family on my heart, so I went to the
hospital to see what I could do to help them. I knew they hadn’t
left Kimura’s side and needed food and clothes washed, so I did
what I could to help. I was surprised when they let everyone go in
to visit Kimura. She was in a chemical sort of sleep to protect
her from the intense pain she had been in. We all talked to her
hoping she could still hear our words of encouragement and love
even though she couldn’t respond. Dan, her father, prayed with
her trusting that she understood.
I fell in love with this sweet family
immediately. Kimura was everything to her husband and parents. As
time passed and they still didn’t know how to help her, we
prayed for God to do a miracle. That seemed to be all the hope
that was left. Her mother asked everyone to pray for a miracle and
nothing less. She said she didn’t want to live if her daughter
died. I prayed night and day for Kimura and her family. I could
not get her off my mind. In fact she made an impact on many, many
people.
When I got home from church last Sunday they
called and said I should come to the hospital right away. Her
organs had been shutting down and now they had to cut the machine
back so she didn’t have long to live. Jack had been so strong
for a young husband and I knew he would be overcome with grief. My
heart was so heavy with compassion.
There were several gathered around Kimura’s
hospital bed praying silently as they watched the numbers on the
machines start to fall. Then I heard her mother cry out in pain.
"No! No! You can’t leave me!" I looked up to see the
line on the screen was now straight.
I felt the pain again of losing my own child as
I heard Mary cry out to her daughter. I remembered when I had felt
just as Mary now felt. She is angry and in such grief that it’s
almost too much to bear. She keeps saying, "I just can’t
stand it without her."
Mary wants to run away from the memories as I
once had done. She doesn’t want to think about the pain and
great loss. Denial…there it is again. We can’t stand the pain
of losing our children so we try to put it out of our minds.
I could have saved my baby’s life but Mary had
no choice. Yet even with this sadness, I know I am forgiven and
healed of my dreadful pain. I know my son is in Heaven, but I also
emotionally gave my child to God as Hannah did in I Samuel 1 that
he might abide with the LORD forever. Knowing how much God truly
loves us, I can have faith that "all things work together for
good to them that love God, to them who are the called according
to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate
to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the
first-born among many brethren. Moreover, whom he did
predestinate, them he also called; and whom he called, them he
also justified; and whom he justified, them he also glorified.
What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can
be against us?" (Romans 8:28-31)
I believe that my healing came to me so
completely because I chose to put God first in my life. It’s
amazing what God can do when a heart is totally yielded to Him. I
pray that all who came in contact with Kimura and all who hear her
name will decide to put God above all else in their lives and
follow His plan for their lives. I know that my co-workers and I
will never be quite the same. We realize that life can be taken so
quickly. We should cherish each moment and let others know how
much we care about them. I know this experience has caused me to
be more earnest in sharing Jesus with those I come in contact with
and telling them how very much He loves them.
Our ways are not God’s ways so sometimes
it’s hard to understand the whys, but we must trust the
sovereign hand of God and know that He does everything perfectly
and on time.
We will remember Kimura-Lea Zunitch-Rairden and
our children with love and can be certain that all who have
trusted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior will one day be
reunited with them for eternity in Heaven. As David said in 2
Samuel 12:22-23: "While the child was yet alive, I fasted and
wept; for I said, who can tell whether God will be gracious to me,
that the child may live? But now he is dead, why should I fast?
Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not
return to me."
