by Kristin England
[Note: This article is part of a
continuing series. If you are seeking help recovering from your
own abortion, you will receive the most benefit if you start with
the first article. Look in the archives of the Streams of Life
section, December 1999.]
I was a prisoner on "death row" for 30
years. In my mind I had been sentenced to pay for my terrible
crime. I thought of ending my own life several times but never
finished the job. I had done such a sinful thing. My baby boy
never had a chance. I had cared more about keeping my sins a
secret than about this innocent unborn child of mine. He deserved
life, not death. I was a murderer! An eye for an eye is what I had
always heard. God says in Numbers 35:21b: "The avenger of
blood shall put the murderer to death when he meets him."
Have you watched news programs when there are
parents on trial for killing their babies? They say these young
people are guilty of murder. So are we who abort our children. Yet
they are sentenced and we are free. How can this be when the only
difference is a little time? Our nation is just as guilty as we
are because they say that abortion is all right if itís done
while a portion of the baby is still in the womb. How can anyone
say partial birth abortion is okay when they find out the details
of how they are done? Anyone who still says they should be allowed
must surely have a heart cold as ice and hard as steel!
We had "Friend Day" at church last
week and our state representative, Jim Vincent, prayed in our
morning service. He made a statement that has really made me think
even more about our countryís sin of abortion. He was talking
about how terrible it was that so many innocent people died on
September 11th. Yet we kill many more innocent babies each year.
Do we think this is terrible? Do we mourn their loss as we do
those victims of September 11th? These little ones, innocent
victims of abortion, never have a chance either.
My niece, Kelly, is in the third grade now and
is living with us so she can go to a Christian school. Iím so
thankful that I am able to send her to such a wonderful school
where she can grow even more in her faith. They memorize a Bible
verse each week. A recent verse was Proverbs 6:16-17: "There
are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood."
God hates what we are doing to our babies. We are guilty and
should all be on death row: "For the wages of sin is death,
but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our
Lord." (Romans 6:23)
Would we cry for mercy if we were really on
"death row"? We donít deserve mercy. But we have a
loving, merciful God who gives us the free gift of salvation
through Jesus Christ. He took our place on "death row."
He suffered and died for all. We truly donít deserve to be free
but Jesus set us free, so we are free indeed! God loves usÖ
itís our sin He hates.
This reminds me of the beautiful words of praise
because you were forsaken.
Iím accepted... you were condemned.
Iím alive and well
Your spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again.
Amazing love, how can it be
That you my King would die for me?
"Righteousness from God comes through faith
in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for
all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are
justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by
Christ Jesus." (Romans 3:21-24) "God demonstrates his
own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died
for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much
more shall we be saved from Godís wrath through him! For if,
when we were Godís enemies, we were reconciled to him through
the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall
we be saved through his life!" (Romans 5:8-10)
Shakespeare knew we couldnít wash away our
sins. I used to fret about my sin of abortion like Lady Macbeth
when she said, "Out, out damn spot!" She couldnít wash
the blood from her hands just as we canít. Only the precious
blood of Jesus can make us white as snow. "Though your sins
are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow." (Isaiah
1:18) I cried out to God as David did in Psalm 51:7: "Cleanse
me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter
Because of Godís bountiful mercy, we donít
receive the death penalty we deserve. Because of Godís
incredible love, we have a Savior in Jesus Christ. Because of
Godís amazing grace, we can have Heaven as our eternal home.
Iím grateful for the chance to tell you of Godís healing
power. And Iím forever grateful for the Cross.
Copyright 2006, Ankerberg Theological Research Institute